Over the course of nearly 30 years now, dating apps have grown from being a clunky and awkward way to meet someone into the single most popular (and effective) way that people find love. As dating apps are now well past the threshold of being socially acceptable and have become ‘what everybody is doing’, we’ve seen a dramatic increase in the number of dating app options.
While more options is generally a good thing, it can leave you wondering how to choose the best dating app for you. The risk of analysis paralysis and the concerns of what can happen if you choose the wrong app leave a lot of motivated singles stuck on the sidelines.
Today, we’re going to fix that. In this guide, we’ll walk you step by step through how to pick the best dating app. We’ll offer guidance, share recommendations, and give you the tips you need to succeed.
And we might even have a little fun doing it…
Step 1 – Determine your relationship goals.
The best way to start your search for the right dating app is to look at your relationship goals and find the leader that serves that need.
Dating apps are designed with specific relationship intents in mind. Some apps are built to help you find serious relationships, some are built for casual and non-committal dating, and some try to serve both needs.
Which dating apps are the best in each space?
Here are the answers and a link to the information you need to know before signing up.
- If you’re hoping to find a serious relationship, eharmony is the best. Read our eharmony review or if try it yourself with an eharmony free trial.
- If you’re looking for casual dating, Zoosk is a top option. Check out our Zoosk review.
Here’s why this matters.
While this may seem like a small, nuanced difference, the relationship intent of a dating app can be felt in a lot of subtle ways that will affect your experience. Here are a few ways:
- Dating apps market to attract people who match the relationship goal they’re serving. This means that casual dating apps will be filled with people who aren’t interested in a serious relationship and vice-versa.
- Features on casual dating apps are designed to facilitate surface-level interactions, whereas dating apps for marriage have features to connect you on a deeper level.
Step 2 – Determine if a niche dating app is best for you.
Relationship intent is not the only way to categorize dating apps when trying to find the best for you. Many dating apps go further in their customization to offer a tailored experience for specific groups of people.
Niche dating apps are highly polarized in quality — they’re either the greatest thing ever or a complete miss. Often, this is dependent on the size of the niche targeted. Dating apps for business professionals, senior dating websites, and options for religious groups tend to be fantastic. However, more targeted niches like dating apps for doctors or military dating apps tend to be great in theory, but awful in practice.
Step 3 – Decide between swipe apps, traditional dating apps, or professional matchmaking.
Within these relationship intent and niche vs. mainstream options is one more major difference that can affect what is the best dating app for you. What we’re referring to is the style of matchmaking. Here’s a quick look at the three options you’ll see and a few notes on each worth considering.
Traditional dating apps offer the most control.
With a traditional dating app, you create a profile, answer some questions about what you’re looking for, and then search through other members available in your area. Sometimes, traditional dating apps provide a daily list of curated match results for you to look through. These apps are ‘what you’re used to’ if you dated online a while back and many people like the simplicity and control that they offer. You’re in the driver seat to pick your matches and decide who you talk to.
Our top pick for the best traditional dating app is eharmony.
Professional matchmakers offer a high-end, one-on-one experience.
If you’re looking for more individualized help or a high end dating experience, a professional matchmaker may be what you’re looking for. Matchmaking services cost more than traditional dating apps, but you’re getting a lot of value for what you’re paying for.
You get a personalized matchmaker who gets to know you, figures out exactly what you want, and goes and finds (and sets up) dates for you. You literally just have to show up.
Our top pick for the best professional matchmaker is Three Day Rule.
Swipe dating apps are popular but it might be because of their addictive qualities.
One of the more popular styles of dating right now is swipe dating. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge all use a mutual match function where you indicate interest in a long list of other members, while the other members are doing the same. If two members indicate interest in each other, a chat is opened up.
While swipe dating sounds efficient and effective, research is showing that it can be addictive and may lead to things like depression and emotional burnout.
In fact, the dating app Hinge is currently being sued for using addictive technology to profit on romantic vulnerability. We cover this in-depth in our Hinge vs. eharmony article, and it’s a must read.
For these reasons, we do not have a recommendation for the best swipe dating app.
Step 3 – Set realistic expectations.
Once you’ve picked out a dating app (or apps) you want to try, make sure you have your expectations set properly.
The best dating apps can offer incredible opportunities to meet someone special that you normally wouldn’t have any contact with. However, they’re not magic lamps or a genie in a bottle that can guarantee you’ll find success overnight.
Realize that it can take weeks, months, or sometimes years to find someone, even with the best dating app on the planet. Additionally, your timeline and success rate can be heavily affected by the specificity of what you’re looking for and the effort that you put into the process.
Does this mean dating apps don’t work? Of course not. You just need to be prepared for the process to take some time. By doing this, you protect yourself from undue frustration. Remember, TVs and movies depict how dating apps work pretty inaccurately. And just because someone you know met someone quickly (or never met someone) does not mean that is representative of how your experience may be.
Step 4 – Try before you buy.
With nearly all dating apps, you’ll eventually need to upgrade to a paid membership to have success. There are some free dating apps out there, but the quality falls under the cliché ‘you get what you pay for’ pretty intensely. Paid dating apps have more resources to dedicate to marketing, security, safety, and features.
That said, you should be able to try out some of the features of a dating app before you decide on purchasing or upgrading with a free trial. If you’re interested, here are a few options from some of the best dating apps you can try today.
- eharmony free trial
- Elite Singles free trial (link in review)
- Zoosk free trial (link in review)
Step 5 – Enjoy the process.
Lastly, it’s important to point out that choosing the best dating app (and using that dating app) should be an enjoyable process.
Don’t overthink the process, take your time, and remember that you’re getting the chance to potentially find someone special. Stay rooted in the excitement of what you’re looking for and you’ll be just fine.
Here are some additional tips to help select the best dating app option for you.
- You may end up having to try more than one dating app to find the right fit.
- Don’t base the quality of the dating app on the first one or two people you meet. Even the best dating apps are going to have some duds.
- If you do determine that a dating app isn’t the best for you, cut ties and move on. If you need a break, take one.
- Dating apps change over time, so if it’s been a while, make sure you read updated dating app reviews to know how things have evolved (for better or for worse).
- Remember that you’ll need to put effort into the process for it to work.