Hiring a professional matchmaker is an investment. Because of this, it’s important that you do what you can to get the most out of your experience. Here are several tips to ensure you’re maximizing your chances of finding the right one when hiring a matchmaking service.
1. Clarify expectations before you sign a contract.
The biggest reason that people have a subpar experience working with a matchmaker is unclear expectations — in both directions. Your matchmaker should know exactly what you expect from them, and that should be detailed in writing in your contract. Here are some questions you should ask before you sign a contract that cover what you need to know.
On that same token, your matchmaker should share with you exactly what they expect from you. This may include things like date feedback, intake interviews, pictures of people you find attractive, a list of deal breakers, etc.
To have the best experience possible with your matchmaker, be prepared to deliver everything expected from you on time and with the best effort you can put forward.
2. Be honest about how you’re feeling throughout the entire process.
The more open and honest you can be with your matchmaker, the better your experience is most likely to be. Why? Quality matchmakers are great at finding you what you’re looking for. But if they don’t know what you’re actually looking for, how can they help? If you don’t give them the real information to work with, it will affect your results.
Here are a few different ways that you can be more honest with your matchmaker.
- Tell them exactly what you are looking for even if you think it’s silly, stupid, or weird.
- Be brutally honest with your feedback after dates, especially when there are things you don’t like.
- Never hold back on any feedback about the process, your dates, your matchmaker, or anything.
3. Speak up when there’s a problem.
On the subject of being honest, this also involves speaking up as soon as you experience something that you aren’t comfortable with or that you think is going poorly. On average, dates through a matchmaker can cost several hundred to several thousand dollars each. This means you don’t have time to waste when something isn’t to your liking.
If you see something you don’t like, call it out immediately. If you don’t get an answer you like or you feel your matchmaker isn’t taking it serious enough, go above them.
Yes, this may sound extreme, but you’re spending a lot of money and these problems are way easier to fix before the fact and not after.
Some situations where you might need to speak up immediately (and loudly) include:
- Your matches aren’t matching what you requested.
- Your deal breakers are being ignored.
- An aspect of your contract is not being honored.
- You have safety concerns about your matches or the process.
- Something uncomfortable happened with a match.
- You feel you’re not getting the level of attention you paid for.
4. Get additional help if you need it to improve your dates.
Matchmaking services can do a lot for you, but they can’t do everything. At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to go on the dates.
If you’re not great at dates, consider getting some coaching. Some matchmaking services provide this as part of your package, whereas others can recommend options for you.
Consider this protecting your investment. Dating coaches are at most a few hundred dollars an hour (generally way less expensive). Spending a few hundred dollars to protect a several thousand dollar investment is probably a wise decision.
Here are a few areas you might look to get extra help if you’re struggling.
- How to talk to someone on a date
- How to dress for a date
- Proper date etiquette
- Texting, phone calls, and how to follow up after a date
5. Be available.
Lastly, be available. If your matchmaker reaches out with a question or a date, be ready to go. If you’re hard to get ahold of or slow to respond to messages, it may impact the quality of your experience.
Treat this as an investment that you care about. Try and minimize any other distractions throughout the time you’re working with your matchmaker, so that you can give priority to the process.