When you’re looking for that special someone, you generally have four options—you can troll bars and hope to find someone randomly, you can do nothing, you can use a dating app, or you can hire a professional matchmaker.
For most people, the bar route is overplayed and doing nothing just doesn’t seem like a winning strategy. That leaves either dating apps or hiring a matchmaking service. But which is better?
What we’d like to do is cut through the stereotypes, the myths, and the abundance (or lack of) information to help you decide which option might be best for you.
Comparing the two at a glance
Throughout this article, we’re going to dive deeper into the differences between using matchmaking services and dating apps. But first, we wanted to give you a quick overview snapshot of the differences between the two.
| Feature | Matchmakers | Dating Apps |
|---|---|---|
| Relationship Goal | Serious | Serious or casual |
| Time Commitment to Set up | 1 hour | 2-4 hours |
| Monthly Time Commitment | 2-3 hours | 40-160 hours |
| Who Chooses Your Matches | Your matchmaker | You do |
| Who Asks Your Match Out | Your matchmaker | You do |
| Who Plans Your Date | Your matchmaker | You do |
| Who Goes on the Date | You do | You do |
| Companies to Choose From (Globally) | Less than 500 | More than 8,000 |
| Price | $3,000+ total | $30+ per month |
Matchmaking apps and dating apps may serve different end goals.
Before we dig into deeper topics, there’s a quick surface-level distinction that needs to be made.
Matchmaking services are strictly designed for finding serious relationships. Dating apps, on the other hand, may be used for finding serious relationships or casual relationships.
Neither of these makes one better than the other overall. However, it might make one a better fit for you.
Dating apps are much less expensive than matchmaking services.
Probably the most glaring difference between matchmaking services and dating apps is the cost. When you hire a professional matchmaker, you’re hiring an actual person to manually get to know you, search for ideal matches for you in a database they most likely spent years curating, help set up, plan, and prepare you to go on dates, coordinate with the matches they picked out for you, and ultimately steer the course of your search for love. As you might expect, matchmaking services can be expensive.
The cost of a professional matchmaker ranges anywhere from $1,000 up to $300,000, with the average cost being around $2,700 – $4,500. The cost of a dating app usually ranges from around $20 per month up to a few hundred dollars per month.
Again, this doesn’t make one better than the other, as long as you’re getting value for what you’re paying. If budget is a big factor in your decision, dating apps may be better for you. If you have the disposable income available and want the added conveniences and expert help, you might consider a professional matchmaker.
Control and workload are distinguishing factors worth considering.
Besides price, determining if dating apps or a matchmaking service are better for you really comes down to two factors—control and workload. Here’s what you need to know.
Dating apps give you more control but require more work on your part.
With a dating app, you are in charge of picking out your matches. While you may get some sort of curated stream, you are still the one who ultimately chooses who you message, who you go out with, and every detail in between.
While this gives you more control, it also means that you have to do the extra work. You have to curate the matches, you have to initiate conversations, you have to ask them out, and you have to set up the date.
Matchmaking services handle a lot of the work, but you don’t have as much control in the decisions.
If you understand what it’s like working with a matchmaker, then you may already know this.
When it comes to choosing who you go on a date with, your matchmaker will get to know you, learn your wants and needs, and then use that information to choose who they think will be a good fit for you. You’ll have a lot of input in the process, but you won’t be the one making the selections.
For many, this is a welcomed sign, as it does take some of the pressure off of you and puts it in the hands of an expert who has a track record of success with matching people up.
While you won’t have the control, you also won’t have the responsibility of all of the extra work to get from here to on a date. You don’t have to set up a profile, you don’t have to curate your own matches, you don’t have to ask people out, and you don’t have to set up your own dates (with most providers).
Less control, but much less work for you.
Ultimately, the answer is based on you.
While we hate giving non-answers, the reality is that matchmaking services will be better for some people but not for others.
Each option will be better for some people, depending on your personal situation, what you’re looking for, your financial situation, and how you like to operate.